


Would you love me for the hell of it ?

by tsukitachinu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Natural Disaster, Angst, Getting Back Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukitachinu/pseuds/tsukitachinu
Summary: Doyoung and Johnny used to be dating, but they're not anymore, until Doyoung gets the feeling that the end of the world is coming and he doesn't want to die alone.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 6
Kudos: 69





	Would you love me for the hell of it ?

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to @timelessidyll for spellcheking it !!!!
> 
> also the fic is inspired by this song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jO2wSpAoxA

Doyoung was in his car, stuck in traffic, when he started feeling the ground shaking. In front of him every vehicle was moving, people started screaming as everything started collapsing. A large breach opened in the road and he woke up right before falling down, right before dying for sure.

His dreams were never innocent, they never were just dreams. It always had been something more, something deeper. Like the time he dreamt about a cat being abandoned by its owner and two days later he found the exact same cat in the parking lot, where it had been abandoned in his dream. And it was one of the few times it happened.

Doyoung never dreamed unless it was premanatory.

After waking up in screams, all sweaty, he stayed on his bed for a while, in a kind of lethargy. He didn't know what to feel, how to feel. It was as if he had actually died during the night, somehow. Well, he was going to die soon –that he knew for sure.

But he still wanted to believe that maybe for once he actually _just_ dreamt.

He turned on the television to check on the news channel, none of them were talking about an upcoming earthquake, tsunami or anything like that. He was reassured: if an earthquake was really bound to happen, the scientists would alert the population.

Two days later, he had the same dream again.

This time it couldn't be a mistake, it really couldn't be. Maybe the earthquake was meant to happen in a long time that's why no scientist screamed about it yet. Just in case he turned on the television. A magnitude 4 earthquake is supposed to strike South Korea in the evening.

Fuck.

Once again, Doyoung didn't know how to react, how to feel anything at all. He knew it, he just knew he was meant to die way sooner than he thought. Until that dream he expected to die old, but now there was no way he would reach his thirties.

But would a magnitude 4 earthquake really kill this many people ? Make this much damage ? No. No it wouldn't. Was it really this earthquake then ? Or were the scientists wrong ?

Doyoung focused, tried to remember anything else from his dream. And after a few minutes he could picture the scene again. He was in his car, heading to work, it was written 8:32 AM on the car radio. On the passenger seat there was his briefcase, his coat and above it, his phone. His gaze went back to the radio, and there he saw it, the date.

The deadly earthquake would happen tomorrow. Tonight was just a preliminary one.

It took him some time to realize that he was actually going to die the next day, that he had less than twenty-four hours to say goodbye, to enjoy life, to do what he was never brave enough to do before.

Except he didn't know what he wanted to do before dying. He never made any bucket list, or had this kind of talk with friend. Of course they had joked about it once or twice, with the usual ''what would you do if you had one week left to live ?'' question, and the usual ''I'd travel the world, eat lots of food, go see my friends'' answer.

Except Doyoung didn't really care about seeing his friends, they would die too and they already knew they loved each other very much. There was no need to go see them and alert them for something they had no power over. Even if he told them they would die, they couldn't go far enough before the earthquake happens.

With his parents it was a bit different, they were further in the countryside and might escape it; the earthquake was going to strike mostly on the southern coast, but he never was really close with his family. Nothing bad happened, they just grew apart, didn't have the same interests. They called once in a while and exchanged small talk.

But there was someone.

Yes, there was someone Doyoung wanted to see one last time before dying.

So he grabbed his coat and went into his car (he felt a bit weird driving after having had that dream but he managed for the twenty minute drive) and drove to Johnny's house.

One thing was sure, Johnny was not expecting Doyoung any time soon. Or any time late for that matter. They used to date, about a year ago, but neither of them was ready to commit to something really serious (maybe Doyoung was less ready than Johnny but they wouldn't talk about that) and they acknowledged that maybe they just weren't meant for each other.

And it was fine. At the time it truly was fine.

Doyoung thought he would have a lifetime to be happy on his own, or with someone else, that he had all the time in the world to meet someone nice again, to connect with them, to build something mayhaps.

Except now he knew he didn't have the time.

And he understood that what he had with Johnny was the best thing he would ever have, the best relationship, the best memories. And he just wanted to feel that a last time.

Maybe he just didn't want to die alone.

So when Johnny opened the door, Doyoung finally knew how to feel, he saw his face and it just hit him. He started crying.

He must have looked extra ugly like this, because Johnny didn't react for a whole minute before moving aside to let him come in and accompanied him to the couch with a hand laid awkwardly on Doyoung's back, trying to comfort him the best he could considering they had broken up a year ago.

Doyoung just couldn't stop crying, and shaking; it was like the earthquake was already happening inside of him. Except it wasn't, and he needed to warn Johnny, to explain what was happening.

“I.. Oh god I'm sorry it must be weird.. I just..” Doyoung couldn’t talk properly with the crying, with the feelings, with the weight of what he had to say. He took a deep breath and just let it all out, dropping the bomb on the only man who made him feel loved, made him feel safe. “I dreamt about the earthquake, tonight's earthquake isn't bad but there's going to be another one tomorrow and we're all going to die.”

Johnny tried to comfort him at first, taking his hand between his, ready to listen until he heard. His face starting falling down.

He got hit by the earthquake as well.

Anyone would have laughed, would have thought Doyoung was an idiot for believing in his dreams, but Johnny knew better. They had lived together for about two years and he witnessed his premonitions first hand. He believed Doyoung.

“We're gonna die.. We're going to die, like, tomorrow?”

Doyoung nodded, and started apologizing for the bad news, again and again, until Johnny took him in his arms, embracing him tightly, although shaken by the news he managed to whisper ''It's not your fault Doyoung, you're even giving me more time''.

Johnny had always been soft, gentle and loving. And maybe at the time Doyoung wanted a relationship a little bit more feisty, with someone who would yell at him when he did something wrong, but now Johnny was everything he needed.

“Can I ask you something though?”

“Sure,” replied Doyoung, tilting his head and getting out of the embrace, wanting to see his face while talking to him, a habit they used to have.

“Why me? Why didn't you go to your friends or someone else's place?” Johnny's voice wasn't as steady as it always was, he was afraid of the answer, he was afraid that Doyoung would still have some feeling left for him, and that maybe it would make both of them. But he wasn't ready to recognize that.

“The world is ending and I don't want to die alone. I don't want to die without knowing if you would have come back to me later in life. I don't want to die without you loving me. I just..”

Words weren't enough to explain what Doyoung was feeling, trying to explain his heart, his brain, his instincts all of them intertwined in the weirdest way. So he kept explaining, he kept spitting everything that went through his mind, about how he didn't really need to see his friends or family again, about how he hadn't got a single date in the last year because everyone seemed bland, about how he needed to see him again because they didn't end like they should have.

“Unless, I mean.. maybe it's just in my mind. If you knew the world was ending, you would have come over too.. right?”

Johnny nodded. He understood Doyoung's word vomit and would have said the same things if they had more time, but they didn't. They clearly did not. So he just hugged him tightly again, not wanting to let him, not wanting to say goodbye again. He did it once and it had been hard enough.

And while embracing each other, while shyly kissing each other's cheek, forehead, shoulder, they understood that they didn't make a mistake when they parted ways. It was the right call at the right time, but that it was certain that love would have find its way, and that in a year, in ten years, maybe even twenty years, they would have came back together. Love would always find its way.

They stayed together the whole day, cuddling most of the time, looking at old pictures, reminiscing about their time together, catching up. Johnny had finally finished his studies and became a surgeon, Doyoung got a cat. Everything in their life just fitted so right, so, so right, that Doyoung cried at the thought that fate was this mean: they had found each other again, were ready to settle down and get a life together, everything was perfect but they couldn't have it.

Johnny kissed his tears away, telling him that there was nothing they could do so they should enjoy the time they had left to the utmost. And that is what they did: they kept talking, they ordered every type of food even though they knew they could never eat all of that, but they wanted to try everything one last time.

Trying everything one last time meant also sleeping in the same bed one last time. They didn't plan on sleeping, because they didn't care about having dark rings under their eyes anymore, and they needed more time so they weren't going to waste any seconds, but they wanted the experience of being next to each other under comfy blankets, of being in a safe environment, of doing something couples usually do.

So they did.

They went to bed, wore pyjamas, pretended to read something before saying ''good night husband'', pretending to close their eyes, Johnny pretending to move during his sleep to back-hug Doyoung. Doyoung snuggled closer. And one thing led to another, they tried neck-kissing and many other things one last time, while the bed was shaking before the magnitude 4 earthquake.

They could hear the news anchor on the television they forgot to turn off downstairs, he was saying how the earthquake was over and even though they should expect some waves soon, they shouldn't be strong and everything would be fine.

It was 8:20AM and they decided they should get ready, they should say goodbye. They didn't want to though, so they just dressed up in fancy suits, as if they were going to get married, they were both wearing a ring they took in Johnny's drawer. And they headed outside Johnny's flat, running up the stairs to go on the roof, ready to scream everything they had heavy on their chest.

It was 8:32AM when they felt the earthquake.

It was 8:32AM when they said ''I love you'' before the building crumbled.


End file.
